A Relationship Analysis of Connectedness

Dr. Dave Currie

Atmosphere Analysis:  Have fun scoring yourself and your spouse on the following aspects of marital connection. Add your totals out of 100. Share your scores. Begin your discussion by admitting where do you need to improve? Where does your connection need warming?

Affection

Warm physical touch, gentleness, caring hugs, daily kisses away from the bedroom, arms around each other, hand-holding, sitting close, feeling loved, secure, fully protected.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Affirmation

Undivided focus, active listening, fully engaged, present, setting aside distractions, no phones, looking at the person, listening to the end of the interaction, being “in the moment”.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Attention

Encouraging words, acknowledging attributes, building up vs tearing down, publicly honouring, declaring worth and approval vs harshness, attacking or criticizing.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Appreciation

Gratitude, thankfulness, using please and thank you, not taking for granted, assuming that’s “your job”, giving them credit for their role, validate contributions.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Assistance

Giving acts of service, helping out, lightening their load, being empathic, taking something off their list, doing what is asked without grumbling or complaining, being team.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Advocacy

I’ve got your back attitude, stand up for each other rather than “throw you under the bus”, no wedge between you, speak highly in public, believing in each other, on your team.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Apology

freely and quickly admitting wrongs, taking ownership for mistakes, no blaming, justification, defensiveness or excuses, saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, restoring connection.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Adoration

thoughtful gestures, remembering significant days, showering with gifts, knowing what they like, wanting to please, sacrificing for the other, spending time together.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Allegiance

Deep marital commitment, marriage is clearly priority, sharing schedules and whereabouts, loyal, faithful, exclusive, accountable, make each other feel pursued, important. 

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

Anchored

Growing spiritual connection, deepening my faith, praying for and with each other, attending church together, sharing hearts and Biblical insights, agreement on life’s values.

His Score  _______/10                                       Her score _______/10

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Dr. Dave Currie
Author: Dr. Dave Currie

Dr. Dave Currie is a relationship warrior. He battles daily to help people thrive in their most important relationships – the number one being with GOD. As an international speaker and pastor for nearly 4 decades, he is now the founder and President of DOING FAMILY RIGHT (since January 2010), a ministry designed to inspire people to follow God's blueprint for life and marriage, especially to reach out in creative ways to those with no faith roots.