Canadians used to be known for how polite and kind we were. We were famous for saying sorry, and putting others first. Have you noticed that many of us seem to becoming a lot ruder and insensitive? The COVID lockdowns didn’t help. It often brought out the worst in people and forced many into lonely isolation. What can we do about the anger and nastiness that seems to be sweeping much of Canada?
There’s good news. Alexandra Hudson and her mom Judi Vankevich have launched a civility revolution, to bring back civility and kindness to our public and private lives. We recently attended The Soul of Civility book launch for Western Canada where Alexandra and Judi cast their vision for how goodness and decency can be brought back into the very fabric of how we do life together.
Hudson came home to B.C. from her new home in Indiana. This was part of her 35-city book tour – from Canadian Parliament to speaking at the Alabama Supreme Court – promoting the conversation around the need for civility. Hudson attended TWU in Langley, B.C. and followed that with a Masters’ Degree at London School of Economics on a Rotary scholarship.
Vankevich is internationally known as Judi The Manners Lady. She is an award-winning singer, family entertainer, educator, and author. Her book and videos help the often forgotten Ten Commandments come alive for children. Her CD, It’s Fun to Have Good Manners! won Best Children’s Album of the Year for the Covenant Awards. Her new children’s book, The Bad Manners Monsters and The Kindness Keys, is an allegory to help children (of all ages) “take every thought captive.”
Vankevich first launched the non-profit Civility Project in 2003. Langley, Abbotsford, and Vancouver were the first communities in Canada to celebrate National Manners and Character Day and now they are planning on launching the Civility Movement across Canada and the US.
Hudson said that her parents, Judi and Ned, a TWU Professor, are wonderfully intellectually curious. They gave her their love for the great Russian Christian philosophers like Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Solzhenitsyn. Her upcoming book is on autodidactic learning, which is self-taught and ongoing. She wants Christians to more intentionally reclaim their robust intellectual and historical heritage.
A city councilor from Carmel, Indiana invited Hudson to launch their community-wide, multi-event civility conversation with the theme, “We Can Do Better.” Hudson shared how we can recover civil community through learning to ‘porch’ together. By this, she means not just relying on impersonal social media, but actually hanging out together in person on each other’s porches, front lawns, coffee shops, or similar shared spaces. The civility revolution can start in very small ways. Our internet algorithms encourage us to hide from others in our self-absorbed silos, never deeply listening to those who might think differently than us. Our highly divided culture often encourages us to fear those who hold different views on specific issues. Hudson encourages us to rediscover the humanity of every person who are all made in God’s image. So, all people are of deep inherent worth and dignity. Civility is not yelling at the other person to make your point, but stopping to think and then conversing quietly and gently with them.
As a dual Canadian/US citizen, Hudson has been active in politics in both Ottawa and Washington, DC. Sometimes she met aggressive, impolite people in the public realm. What concerned her more though was outwardly polite people who were just as ruthless, first using and then discarding others. This is why she prefers the concept of civility, because it speaks of genuine character. Civility is not about pretending to just fit in, but rather graciously listening and then speaking your truth in difficult situations.
She observed that as family, faith, and friendships have fragmented, politics is inappropriately filling the vacuum. The political culture wars are endless. People never get a break from politics, which Hudson says, ends up harming our souls and family life. Politics, which is a good thing, has become for many an idol, the ultimate source of meaning and purpose. What if we spent more time with our family, friends and colleagues celebrating the sublime beauty of God’s creation? Wouldn’t that be revolutionary in our deeply conflicted culture?
We thank God for this mother-daughter Christian team who have not given up on kindness and civility.
Anne Bonner says
Very well said, Ed and Janice!