Caught in between indigenous and non indigenous

I used to be a binge drinker, but I’m happy to say I quit drinking 20 years ago. Back when I used to party in high school, some of my friends used to say, “Don’t give Stelter any hard liquor because he’ll turn Indian.” At the time it didn’t bother me because I was too busy having fun and not caring. Later in life, when I connected with my biological family, for the first time. I became exposed to, and involved in, the Indigenous community and gained many new insights. 

A comment like this one made towards me at a young age, is an ideal example of the opinion that many Canadians have had toward my fellow Indigenous people. These comments also reflect the approach of the early non-indigenous settlers towards Indigenous people. The early settlers referred to us as “savages,” and created their assimilation policy, to try to solve the “Indian problem.” 

Whether it’s the discovery of all the unmarked graves, or a young Indigenous man being charged with trespassing on a Saskatchewan farmers property. These events, and court cases that hit the news, cause the person who already has a racist view to go deeper into that view and keep the racist attitude. But there are people who are more understanding, who want to see what’s really going on, who want to understand more about the inner struggles of Indigenous People. And of course, there are those who are indifferent and not interested in any opinion.

I’ve personally felt stuck in the middle on many of these issues. I feel stuck between the Christian who is more traditional and the one who is more open. I’ve felt stuck between the traditional Indigenous person, who is very angry at either God, or God and the church, because of the last few hundred years.

I’ve also felt stuck in the Indigenous Christian community. The early Christian settlers taught a certain way of believing and expressing the Gospel. Many aspects of Indigenous life that had nothing to do with the Gospel message were shunned and rejected: Long hair, the way we dressed, our language. These attitudes filtered down through time, and today there are a variety of different views and approaches of doing church. Even within the Indigenous Christian community there are a variety of ways that we choose to express our faith in the Creator. Tension is created in Indigenous Christian communities in combining or not combining traditional cultural practices. A practice such as smudging with sweetgrass or sage. Ceremonies or celebrations such as the sweat lodge, the sundance, pow wows, or the round dance.   

Feeling stuck in the middle has reminded me of the plight of the Métis People. My biological father is Métis and on my mother’s side we’re Plains Cree. The Métis often acted as go-between people, in the relations between Indigenous People and the government officials. This goes hand in hand with the journey I’ve been on. I love all non-Indigenous People and I love my own people. As an Indigenous person, my path in life has me helping non-Indigenous People understand Indigenous People. Even though I still feel stuck in the middle, I’m at peace with that. Yet, I often feel misunderstood. 

What the average Indigenous person, who is not interested in God and the church, doesn’t realize, is how much time I spend helping non-Indigenous People understand the average Indigenous person more. I feel, at times, that they are shooting the messenger and the message. I feel at times that they are shooting their advocate and ambassador. Yet, I’m ok with that, because for me it’s about what the Creator has called me to do in life. I’m not interested in reacting to the handful of people who criticize me. For every one person who criticizes my approach, I probably have 200 that really appreciate and support the work I do. 

If I were to go back in time, to my younger self, I would probably say to those buddies, “The only reason we we’re called “Indians” was because Columbus was looking for India and didn’t know he stumbled across North America.” I would also say, “The only reason why some Indigenous People struggle with alcohol is because the early settlers were the ones who introduced us to it through trade. Plus, the Europeans had alcohol in their DNA longer and so they were more adjusted to alcohol physiologically. And the only reason I went nuts with alcohol as a teenager was because of being moved around 12 times before the age of two, and then having my adopted mother die of cancer when I was 12. 

Clarifying all these tensions and misunderstandings has much more power than reacting with emotions and rage. 

Clarifying these things is what using your voice is all about.