Five steps to making peace with transitions

With the click of a Send key, I moved into a new stage of life. Much as I love it, I resigned from writing for my local newspaper. It’s become stressful to keep up with conversations during interviews. In person, we wear masks; on the phone, I have difficulty hearing every word. And my body no longer tolerates stress.

Making peace with transitions. This one is fairly easy. I am free from responsibility, free from deadlines. Free from prying stories out of shy people (although I must say, most people were happy to share with me because I only wrote happy, uplifting stories). I will miss the fun of it all. I truly loved meeting people, interviewing them and capturing personalities on paper.

Maybe you’re facing a harder transition. Maybe you have just added your first child to your home. Maybe a child is leaving home to go to college or get married, and you’re facing the empty nest. Maybe a spouse has moved out, and you’re left facing life alone. Maybe a loved one has died, and you have to live on without their love and support. Maybe you lost a job . . . and your livelihood. Maybe you’ve been forced to work from home, and while you can answer the phone in your pj’s, you miss the camaraderie of colleagues.

How can we handle transitions forced upon us?

Cry if you feel like it. According to a psychologist friend of mine, mourning any type of loss leads us to a stronger healthy place. It’s OK to feel sad. Like the 60’s song, “Cry if you want to.” Tell a friend. Express your grief. You’ll feel better.

Enjoy the memories. Flipping through pages of articles I’ve written makes me smile. I’ve interviewed some celebrating achievements and others mourning losses. I’ve interviewed people involved in closings, such as that of a local diner, and openings, such as that of a new drug recovery center. Volunteers. Parents. Kids. Doctors. Missionaries. Pastors. Centenarians. Football players. I’ve met them all. What a privilege I’ve enjoyed.

Accept the unacceptable. As we ponder losses over which we have no control, we come to accept them. After all, God has permitted this situation to develop. It may not seem be perfect, but He walks with us into each new stage. “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13 NIV). I’ve heard said there are 365 “do not fears” in scripture. That’s one for each day of the year. One for each transition.

Adapt to the speed bumps. There are blessings to be found, no matter the jolt. We may find we’re stronger than we realized. A different job will lead to friendships with different people. A more independent phase will help you discover strengths you didn’t know you had. You might do things you never dreamed you were capable of doing.

Achieve personal growth. Through challenges we develop a deeper faith. What do you need to add to your faith? Find your place in the following list and strive on. 

“Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness . . . . “ (2 Peter 1:5-6 NIV).

Find peace. In fact, you may enjoy this fresh start. You turn that child’s room into a guest room. You love that new job and the people it brings into your life. For me, I will simply enjoy reading the newspaper instead of writing for it. And guess what?! Just today, a week or so after I resigned from newspaper writing, I received an assignment to write devotionals, my favourite kind of writing, for a Christian publication to which I had applied.

Every change doesn’t have to be perfect for us to be perfectly satisfied. Life holds transitions and fresh blessings in every stage. Watch for them. Gather them – like fresh bouquets of flowers. And breathe in their fragrance.