Interpersonal relationships in a scrambled world

An Interview with Dr. Terence C. Young, Senior Consultant, CREST Leadership Presenter & Facilitator, Creston B.C.

The greatest investment in yourself and your future that you can make is to look for two or three people you feel you can trust and begin to commit to a deeper level of communication, thus sharing  your thoughts, business dreams, praying together and doing life together. Terry Young has some valuable insights on building depth of relationship, which he identifies as the key distinction between biblically focused friendships and secular relationships. Henry Cloud, in his book The Power of Other strongly recommends that we find, shape and nurture a small band of trustworthy brothers and sisters as a leadership priority. That is how intimacy grows, and leaders flourish in their ability to build others up and intentionally touch the lives of others with God’s favour and encouragement.

Terry’s Story: Raised in a pastor’s home, Terry spent thirty years as a pastor himself, plus nine years as a professor of Pastoral Theology at Ambrose University. After observing how students struggled with discerning healthy interpersonal relationships, he decided to write a book.  This led to publishing Base Camp Manifesto: How a Secure Base Can Save Your Life and Leadership in a Scrambled World. Terry outlines four major benefits in building strong interpersonal relationships, namely: clarity, agility, durability and generativity.

Clarity results in less confusion. Agility produces freedom from carrying backpack loads of guilt, shame, regrets, and unforgiveness. Durability deepens through connections. Generativity is the opposite of de-generativity. For example, when a leader uses influence and power for goodness, justice, righteousness, abundant life happens. People are blessed and lives flourish in a generative direction. Whereas abuse of power, and the need to control others for personal gain, ignites degenerate outcomes. Terry’s face lit up as he shared an early story about Lloyd Matheson, before he became CEO of Cooperators Insurance.  Longshoremen between Halifax and St Johns liked working alone, and did not seem interested in the co-op Lloyd was offering. One day, as was his daily habit, Lloyd cheerfully greeted a short, very stocky local switchboard operator, thanked her with a smile and overlooked her gruff, abrupt way of speaking to customers. No one liked her. But she warmed up to Lloyd because of his smile. When asked why he treated her differently from the way others treated her, Lloyd said he believed everyone was made in God’s image, and therefore deserved to be treated with kindness, respect and dignity. He tried to live this way. 

One day in early spring, this lady beckoned Lloyd over, saying: “There’s a delivery truck here with bait for the whole season of fishing, but no one from fisheries has arrived to meet him. He’s ready to leave,” she said.  “Do you want to talk to him?” she added, an unexpected wink in her eye. Lloyd went downstairs to meet the driver and immediately bought his entire shipment of bait. He then picked up the phone to invite a dozen longshoremen to come to unload the bait. That season was special because the longshoremen had a three day start on the fishing season, ahead of the huge local fisheries plant. That fisheries plant may have lost millions. But the little business longshoremen profited mightily and also joined together as a co-op. This led to the start-up of the Cooperator Insurance company, close to seventy years ago, that Lloyd eventually led as CEO.

Biblical Principles

• Look for imperatives on how to relate with one another. For example, love one another (John 13:34); encourage and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11); forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32); confess our sins to one another (James 5:16); teach and admonish one another (Colossians 3:16); plus over 40 additional passages to build relationships of trust with one another.  

• Two is powerful is taught in Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12. Note two is better than one because two produce a good return on labour, they help one another and keep one another warm in cold climates. 

In conclusion, relationship building matters.  Since the quality of our relationships can be directly translated into the quality of our leadership, it is imperative to carefully select our friends and close connections. Are these people trustworthy, spiritually mature, courageous?  How robust is each relationship?  Will they help to carry us, in times of anxiety and fear? 

In today’s explosive world of social media, there’s a crisis growing: people are hungry for truth and meaningful relationships, longing for stronger intimacy and trust in their interpersonal relationships. Fortunately, the bible teaches us that having a strong relationship with Jesus and developing faithful, and trustworthy personal relationships with mature Christians deepens our capacity to be fruitful as leadership kingdom builders.

“Connecting Your Sunday Faith to Your Monday Work”

The Canadian Christian Business Federation exists to support business leaders in the study and application of Biblical Leadership Principles with peers, in order to transform lives, strengthen businesses, and positively influence and impact our world. www.ccbf.org

Nancy Kingdon is an author and freelance writer who writes these stories as a gift to the CCBF ministry.  She may be reached through: www.writinglegacy.com

A Business Leadership Discussion Join us with a cup of coffee aswe explore and discuss via Zoom

Wednesday, December 18, 202412:00 pm (EDT)

In this session, we’ll explore the Biblical Leadership Principle onInterpersonal Relationships in Business

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