The power of a father’s blessing

Last month we talked about the first four critical times of blessing in a child’s life.  Each of those times of blessing answers the identity question ‘Who Am I’.  Blessing at conception answers the identity question, “Am I welcome in this world?” Blessing in the womb answers the question, “Is there a safe place for me?” The third critical time of blessing is at birth, and it answers the question, “Will my needs be met in this world?” Blessing at early childhood answers the question, “Who can I trust in the world?” Just as Jesus was provided for and protected in his infancy, so too can we trust in the provision and care extended to us, especially by our mothers in the formative years of childhood.

God created Adam in His image. Adam was the likeness of God, including all the character qualities, attributes and characteristics of His heart, He placed in Adam (Genesis 2:18-20). When God made Eve, scripture tells us that he put Adam into a deep sleep and he took from Adam to make Eve. God took those character qualities, attributes and characteristics of His heart – the nurturing qualities of His character and placed them in Eve who became the mother of all humanity. The Hebrew word used to describe this side of God is El Shaddai. The roots ‘shad’ and ‘dai’ encapsulate the nurturing love of a mother who supplies, satisfies and nurtures the needs of her offspring. That nurturing love is especially needed in the first four times of blessing in a child’s life. Adam retained the fatherly heart that launches children into the world with wisdom and guidance. There is a shift then that needs to happen in the parenting relationship where the father becomes the primary person to teach, train, and bless the identity of his children. In Psalm 127:4 scripture tells us that ‘children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior.’ Those arrows shoot in the direction of the father’s aim. A father’s blessing helps to launch his children into their adult identity and destiny.

That takes us to the fifth critical time of blessing, which is at puberty or the teen years and it answers the identity question, “Do I have what it takes?” This is a significant time in a young person’s life where they need their father’s blessing. A young man needs to know that he is a man.  How does he know that?  It’s when his father tells him. A young woman needs to know she’s beautiful, she’s worth fighting for and she is worth waiting for. She learns this from her father. As a person transitions from being a child into maturing into adulthood it is definitely a changing of the seasons. Just as in nature, the changing of the seasons can be a wild time and need the love and blessing of a father to help ride through the storm. Fathers, this is a key time in your child’s life to reflect what the heart of our Heavenly Father is like – strong and stable, yet kind and caring. But because most fathers have not been blessed themselves and are unsure how to bless and release their own sons, we have designed a Mighty Man Camp where we teach father’s how to step into their role and bless the identity of their sons. There is a training component to teach these young men to be mighty men of God. Both fathers and sons deal with the generational iniquities in their lives. There is a blind trust walk where each son is blindfolded and is led by their father on an obstacle course. This creates a bonding time where the sons learn to trust their father’s voice, as an illustration that they need to listen to the voice of their Heavenly Father. 

During the trust walk they stop at several points where one of the dads shares on a designated topic. The first topic is about a man and his word and the importance of being a man of integrity.  The second session is on a man and his work, God has created each person with a calling and gifting that fulfills the mission they have to make society a better place. The third talk is about a man and his relationship with a woman. A man will share how to treat a woman with honour and respect. To remain sexually pure and wait for the woman God has prepared as his marriage partner. The final sharing time is about a man and his worship – his relationship with God. One of the dads will share his testimony and how to have a personal walk with God. We wrap up the evening with a ceremony where each son is called into manhood to join the company of men and then he is blessed by his father.  

For daughters, there is also a special ceremony. Fathers usually plan it out together with their daughters.  It is an evening that is designed to honour daughters and what better way than to ask them what that ceremony should look like and the special features it should include. We help dads to plan and facilitate an opportunity to read a blessing over their daughters. You can check out some samples of these ‘Nights of Becoming’ on familydreaminstitute.ca (under the ‘Watch Tab’).

The sixth critical time of blessing is at adulthood or marriage and answers the identity question, “What am I called to do in this world and who am I called to do it with?”  We see this type of blessing in the life of Jesus when John the Baptist sees Jesus coming down to the Jordon River.  John the Baptist declared these words, “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world” (John 1:29).  John affirmed Jesus’ identity as the Lamb of God and stated His destiny, which was to take away the sins of the world.  And God the Father blesses Jesus as He comes out of the waters of baptism, “And a voice came from heaven said, ‘you are my beloved Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:11). Likewise, a father’s blessing releases his sons and daughters to prosper in their life, their work and their future marriage.

The seventh critical time of blessing is in the senior years, and it answers the identity question, “Am I still needed in this world?” On my father’s 70th birthday we had a time of blessing for my dad. Each of his children and several of the grandchildren had an opportunity to speak words of blessings over his life. As the oldest son, I spoke a blessing over him and affirmed our love for him and that he was and is still an important part of all of our lives.

This Father’s Day we would encourage you to write or speak a blessing over your father and take the time to affirm your love and appreciation for who he is and what he means to you.

You can learn how to write a blessing for a loved one at https://familydreaminstitute.ca/families/building-strong-families/